wasn't expecting that... okay kinda saw it coming.

You Are Barney

You could have been an intellectual leader... Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem."

The Simpsons Personality Test

Yay!

Report card day is over! And no one cried. :) Didn't do too shabby this term. Rather Impressed with myself actually.
A high B in English, did terribly on the provincial though. I'm pretty upset. Everyone says, "I'm sure you did fine, the marks will come back and you'll probably have the highest." Soooo not true. I'm not one of those modest people that does really good and then says "Oh, I did so bad. I'm sure I only got a C+." And then get's like an A. Those people bug me. I am a very blunt person. If I thought I did good I would have been dancing and chanting, I got an A, I got an A. But I am not modest. And I predict a C+... if I'm lucky. That was a bad day. Brain was a pile of mushy goo on the floor.
English Lit on the other hand... pretty sure I rocked it. Hopefully. I would be pretty upset if I bombed the provincial for my favorite class of all time. I got an A in the class though. Stoked! teehee. Highest mark in the class in English and Lit. I am rather impressed with myself. :) yay. Still no appreciation from the so called mother figure. "I'm not congratulating you because I know you could do better." "Does the fact I got an A and the highest mark in the class mean nothing to you?" " No. I know you could have done better." Pfft. Figures.
Other classes were okay. Comparative Civilizations, pulled my act together in time, got a B, shweet. Carpentry, first time ever I did NOT get an A. :( sucks. My bad. Slacked really bad this term. Got the silent treatment from the teacher. yikes, considering we've been pretty tight since grade 8. I got a C+. :( very upset. The number of really good breakfasts I got instead of going to class were worth it though. Oh well. haha.
Well don't have to go back to the school until... diploma time? Shweet. All done. Pretty awesome if you ask me. Might have got a job today. But not sure... strange conversation with the owner... I may have been hired but I'm not entirely sure *confused face* guess I need to wait for a phonecall.
Job hunting is quite possibly my least favorite activity ever. ick. Up there with swimming in a pool of leaches. And I really, really hate leaches. I had a chant going to keep me from turning around going home instead of applying. Vancouver, seeing Blake, Pride, seeing Pam... Vancouver, seeing Blake, Pride, seeing Pam... worked okay, hahaha.
Damn, have to go help friends pack for their moving out experiences. Going to be doing a lot of that lately. Later.

The Internet: Never has so much "Hooray" been in the same place as so much "Boo".

There are many advantages to the internet. Sharing of information, communication, news etc. And then there is the other side of it. I really don't care to elaborate on the disadvantages of a worldwide idea/photo sharing network, it's fairly self-explanatory. So you get the gist.

So I have this cousin. He is an incredibly, amazingly flambouyant gay 19 year old, whom I love more than anything. My other half is living in Vancouver and working at the biggest gay club in Van, Celebrities. He dances on the bar in his Armani underwear. Enough said.

Earlier today my charming diva of a cousin, B. we shall call him, and asked me to look at a certain Hi-5 (stupid useless friend sharing network thing) profile. I looked at it and saw his picture as the profile and replied, "Yes, your beautiful, what's your point?" He says, "That's not my profile."

So some strange Portugese boy got hold of a picture of my cousin, decided it was more attractive than his actual self and used it as his profile picture. I laughed at B. and told him to be flattered, and creeped out of course. Then I got curious and took a closer look at the page, sure enough, there were several more pictures. The next picture I recognized as the back of my cousin's head with a snake that belongs to a friend of his wrapped around his head. The next one I was a little less sure about, it was of a muscular man from the neck down unzipping his pants, sans underpants. I skipped it assuming, silly me, that it wasn't him. The next picture however...

(it was much much clearer on the site)

is unmistakably him, I'd recognize those lips anywhere, and I've slept on that comforter! One of the comments below read:

Julian says:
You, Tiago can come to my house any time...sneak into my room and strip off all your clothes...pin me down while I'm sleeping, causing me to wake up in confusion...then hold me down while ripping off my clothes...cover us both in warm oil (which you just happened to bring with you)...pin my legs back leaving me totally vulnerable to your every whim...then... *ahem*....*cough*.....*ahem*........
Hmm...I haven't really thought about it very much, but I think I like You! Smile

There were a lot of other interesting comments ("Wow baby show me more!!!"), but that is by far my favorite. A lot of them were also in portugese, which ruins my fun a bit. ( I now know that "labios" is portugese for lips.)

B. is just flattered they liked the picture.

After a ten minute bout of uncontrollable laughing I regained my breathe and asked my cousin how the **** this guy got a hold of these pictures. As I clicked on the next picture I realised that I had seen it before. I remember, because I made fun of him because it's a picure of just part of his face with a rather... erotic expression. They were all pictures taken on B's cellphone.

So after I was finished (for now) making fun of him for having his bush on the internet we decided to be serious for a moment. How could this have happened? He most certainly did not share those photos with anyone. They were for his personal entertainment. Yes, he's like that, and I'm sure there are other more... revealing ones this creeper could have chosen. So how?

His theory is that his computer has been hacked. I don't think so. Maybe on one of his... uh... sleepovers a guy used his computer? Who knows. Another I just thought of was when he came here for my grad he dropped his cell phone in the airport and it spent 10 days with air port security. Now that I think of it that's a pretty good possibility. That is if they pictures were on THAT phone, he has a selection.

So in order to put a stop to his little portugese fan, B. had a friend of his, his "portugese exchange student" to send him a rather threatening email. Like that will work. But it's better than not doing anything I suppose. But honestly, what are you supposed to do in a situation like this. Once a picture hits the internet, it could be in the hands of anyone. In posting it on the internet you are supposedly aware of the potential concequences. None the less people do it anyways, and are still shocked at the places they end up. A friend mine once drunkenly flashed a friends camera. A couple weeks later a girl came up to her at a party and said "Omg, I know you. You're tits are on my ipod!" that was weird. We didn't know you could put pictures on ipods. I laughed really, really hard. Gone are the days when only the creepy guy at the photo place got to see your unpleasant photos.

Regardless of how they got there, which will probably remain a mystery for the rest of our days, I will continue to make fun of B. Because his pubes are on the internet. As if I didn't have enough things to make fun of him for already ( dancing on bars in his underwear for example). This one is pure gold. Nothing he ever does can top this, that is until his debt finally reaches the extent to which he is forced to start making gay porn.

Excuse me while I submit to another ten minute bout of hysterical laughter.

P.S. I posted the picture only with his permission of course... idiot.

Graduation

"Its astounding, Time is fleeting, And nothing,

Will ever be the same."

So today was the last day of my life as a student, and coincidentally as a child. In one sense anyways. It was a rather funfilled day of writing final exams. Three finals down, two Provincials to go.
In a lot of ways it was like saying goodbye. Saying goodbye to friends that its not likely I'm going to be seeing often, if at all, in the future. Saying goodbye to teachers. Saying goodbye to certain people I am glad to never have to see again. But mostly it was saying goodbye to whatever remnants were left of my childhood. We are all moving on to "bigger and better things". Pfft.
At about 10 years old, maybe earlier, the question started; "So what do you want to be when you grow up?" I have always loathed that question. Now I am going to answer it the way I wish I could have answered it back then:

First: I don't know what I want to be. I have never known. When every other child would answer: an astronaut, a fireman, a veterinarian, a policeman, I would say I don't know. This was simply unacceptable. "But don't you want to be a vet? Like all the other girls?" they would say. In answer to that question; No, I don't. and I am not like all the other girls apparently, which might have something to do with it. So I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, when I was 6, 10, when I hit grade 8, or now. I still don't know. Maybe I'm just picky. Maybe I should become a novelist, a journalist, a carpenter like everyone seems to think I should. I have been told by about 6 of my teachers on entirely separate occasions over the years that I should become a journalist. But it really doesn't interest me in the least. I like writing, sometimes, when I'm interested by the topic. But deadlines were never my thing. Neither are deskjobs. I resolved years ago that if I ever ended up in a cubicle I was going to hang myself in it.
Second: I do not intend to grow up. I think my biggest fear is growing up. When I am fifty I am going to play videogames, watch disney movies, eat candy, and do whatever childish thing I please. Some may say I am clinging to childish things. I disagree. I am not clinging. I am not going to let society's view of what an "adult" should or should not be doing dictate who I become. Where is the fun in that. So again, No. I refuse to grow up. Doubt me if you will. But I will never ever do it. Peter Pan and I will stick by each other. And Britney of course. She doesn't intend to grow up either.


That is what I wish could have told them years ago. Back then however, I just thought I was weird... little did I know I was right. Some people in my graduating class are going off to pursue their childhood dreams, to become doctors, policemen, firemen. Others are off to newer pursuits, nuclear physicists, marine biologists, forensic specialists, etc. And I still don't know. I really just hope the answer will come to me one day. I might be relying too much on anticipated epiphanies.

But it is now over. Now it is expected that I run off to college, move out, get a job, fall in love, get married, procreate, none of which I intend to do any time soon, except for getting a job and moving out. That, and going to Vancouver in August for Pride Week. :) The rest of my life is pretty much up in the air. I am "leaving my options open", "doing my own thing" if you will.

So I am going to finish my exams. Get a job. Become president of my parents couch, until such a time, not long from now hopefully, as I can afford my own couch. And then wait for my epiphany, because looking for one hasn't really helped much.

So in short, I am terrified. Life is scary. I have no idea what lay ahead of me. No one cared to ask me if I was ready for real life, no one bothered to check whether I could handle it or not. I feel very very unprepared for real life.

Well I am going to go wake up Britney. She is all tuckered out from the big day and has therefore taken over my bed. Then we are going to eat dinner, and go "celebrate" this transition in our lives. Yipee.

"And crawling on the planet's face, Some insects called the human race, Lost in time and lost in space, And meaning."

terrifying

In the first entry I briefly mentioned having support for the QYA from the schoolboard. Well, to be more specific one other member and I got up in front of the board at an official meeting, gavel and all, and asked for it. It was a rather scary experience. First the times were mistaken so he and I had to sit outside the schoolboard office for nearly an hour waiting for everyone to show up. When we finally get inside there are a surprising number of people jammed into this little room. Before it began Brian Kangas showed us a draft of a new Policy he had been working on that banned discrimination against people of any gender or sexual orientation by students or teachers (a bit superfluous, but a good effort none the less Brian). Immediately we relaxed a bit. Until, that is, we were called in to present. Having nothing prepared to present (because I had to step in last minute for a certain someone) he and I were completely winging it. We told the board what we did, read our little official description, "The Prince Rupert QYA is a youth driven group that welcomes all sexual orientations, gay, lesbian, bi.... " and so forth. Explained that we would like to have their support and to be able to host a website from them. At one point I blurted out "And any available funding you might be able to supply." oops! never meant to say that at all. When we finally ran out of steam they began the vote right away. Immediately one of the men put up his hand. He was a large, burly, manly sort of guy that had a stone-cold expression and had been veritably grilling us during our speech. We could tell right away and had both already sort of imagined him as a gun-toting redneck (silly us). He and I both gasped barely audibly when the man put up his hand, and said "I propose we give the group our full support and host their website. As well, even though we don't usually do this, I suggest we give them $500 toward their seafest float." It was immediately seconded and carried. I could not wipe the huge shit-eating grin off my face as we thanked the board, got up and left. Elliot was ecstatic. We were totally impressed with ourselves. It was a damn good day in fact. The whole room had sat there grinning at us as we left. It was great. Certainly not what we had expected to have happened.
And did I mention that the head of the school board is friends with my mother and I ran into her the next day when I was walking past her office. She congratulated me on our speech and told me the school board would be lucky to have me in the future.
It was an amazing feeling. Some days I can't help but be impressed with the town and some of these people. It just goes to show you can't judge people so easily as you think. I'm rather ashamed of myself for that one.
I don't think I am ever going to forget the moment that that man put his hand up. The feeling of terror I had, and the feeling after he spoke.

numero uno... seafest!

Bonjour! To anyone who feel inclined to actually read this.Well... This weekend I took part in (by which I mean co-organized) my cities very first gay pride event. My gay youth group walked in the annual town parade. Well I suppose this starts about 8 months ago with the starting up of Prince Rupert's very first Gay Straight Alliance, which I have been a part of since the first meeting. We chose to call ourselves the "Prince Rupert Queer Youth Alliance". Not the smartest choice of name on our part I suppose, looking back on all the difficulties that occured on account of the connotations of the words "queer" and "youth", (pain in the ass actually, but we've got some publicity and have a cool logo so there is no sense in changing it now). However, we have done considerably well for a small town group just starting out, considering the rather conservative view of the town. We have a few regular members, a lot of support from the queer adults in the community (who knew they were even there?!) and support from the school district! We started up a website recently, hosted by the schoolboard (how nice of them) at http://rupertqya.com/. So we have spent the last several meetings contemplating what to do for Seafest, seeing as how that was one of our very first missions, visibility in the community, specifically the parade. So the last couple meeting we get together in a classroom at the highschool to work on a banner, becuase we are too lazy and not artistic enough for a float. The turnout is pretty pathetic, to our disappointment, but what did we expect.

When we finally make it to parade day, ONE of the FIVE adult facilitators shows, myself and 2 of the regular meeting attendees, as well as a couple friends and two educators that were happy to come (horray to you two!). Okay so a couple people had legitamate reasons for not coming but other than that I am incredibly angry at some other specific people. Disgusted really. Arg! Anyhow, the parade itself went pretty well as far as I'm concerned, considering my low expectations. By which I mean we didn't get booed and nothing was thrown at us. But honestly it was pretty good. Some people glared, looked away,shielded their children's eyes, and on the other hand people waved, smiled, looked happy, impressed, a few people even cheered! It was a pretty cool feeling to be cheered for. I only had to shield my face from a few family friends, the ones that would jump to conclusions becuase I was in the parade. Being quazi-in-the-closet it was not the smartest idea to walk in the parade, but foreseeing the innevitable lack of walkers I decided it had to done regardless, under the cover of being there "to support my newly out cousin (who actually lives in Vancouver, lucky bastard). So all in all I am pretty impressed with our little town. My low expectations paid off, because I'm not terribly dissapointed or suprised by the low turnout, I do however have some words for a few people. It's a pretty good feeling being the first to do something so influencial in such a small town. It makes you feel pretty big.